Especially Thankful

  On Sunday the 22nd, we were having a Friendsgiving party when Phoenix lost his balance and fell off a bench freakishly landing him onto a piece of glass.  Judging by the abnormal amount of blood spewing like a hose, and the deepness to the bone we knew that it was serious.  Our friends tied a rope around his leg, everyone moved quick and my husband drove as fast as he could to Kapiolani.  The blood would not stop.  My baby turned pale, he seemed lifeless.  He didn’t have energy to cry and asked us, “am I going to die?”  He stopped talking and he rolled his eyes to the back of his head.  This little person we made and we love and we could certainly not live without was he just going to leave us?  Just like that?  A moment, a drop of a needle could change your fate forever and was this ours? We shook him to wake up, and he did! Stay with us, stay with us, stay with us.  Bringing up thoughts about dogs that he loves and my little brother who is his best friend helped him stay awake but he was drifting quick…  “Stay awake for Davy!” I said.  “He’s coming! “ Our little ninja stayed with us…At the ER  we knew we were in good hands but there were bad news one after another.  We were notified that the glass was still stuck in his leg… “Inform trauma, inform the surgeon, get the blood transfusion…etc”  words you do not want to hear ever in the same sentence as your child’s name.  He was given a blood transfusion right away and the surgeon took him away.  The last thing he said to us was that he was going to try everything in his power to save his life.  He talked to us about a chance he may have to amputate to which we broke down to but the priority obviously was to save his life and we hugged each other and tried to hope for the best.  We waited the longest daunting 2 hours in the waiting room.  We couldn’t stop replaying the scene, we couldn’t stop blaming ourselves, and the useless what ifs.  We have jobs but our biggest most important job is to protect him and we had failed.  But this is how precious life is.  It just happens and it could not have been prevented.  Finally the surgeon came out and he looked confident. He saved Phoenix and he saved his leg.  It turned out that the stupid glass had cut through his arteries, nerves, and right down his muscles and to the bone.  We were monitored in ICU for 2 days and then to another room Phe shared with a 6 years old boy named Keawe.  Keawe’s mom was so sweet to me and prayed for Phoenix and his recovery.  A smile never left her face and she made me feel at home.

  We still do not know the deficit Phe has to his leg and we are just hoping for the best outcome but none of this matters.  I am still able to hold my boy and say I love you’s to each other.  I am still able to see him grow up and I am EXTREMELY thankful for all the love and angels sent our way.  The outpour of love, prayers, and light sent our way was definitely felt and I know will heal Phoenix in his recovery.  Unfortunately, I can not say the same for a lot of other children and moms who have lost they’re number one.  My friend Patrice comes to mind, and Baby Boy Bakery and my heart aches for them.  I want to say that I’m so sorry that the angels may have had a different plan for them and more than ever now I feel your pain and suffering.  Life is precious and we all hear it.  Love your loved ones and keep them close live everyday like it is your last.  

  I want to go back to Keawe, Phoenix’s roommate in the hospital and Chasitie, his mom.  I am sad to say that this will be their fate too.  Keawe was a normal boy up until February when he was walking home from school and suffered a seizure.  Doctors diagnosed him with a rare incurable disease called ADL.  From there, they had to prepare for the worst and live out their last months together.  They got admitted back into the hospital Monday when Keawe refused to eat.  His ability to speak and his sight had left him long before and he was basically in a vegetative state but she kept playing him Frozen on TV because he still had his hearing.. She said to me with a smile “I had 6 beautiful years with him…that’s better than some people can say.”  Her last wish for him was to be home for thanksgiving as his days were numbered.   Keawe’s room was not filled with balloons, Phe’s was.  Keawe did not have visitors, we had tons.  And yet this mother was elated for me and hugged me when she heard Phe could go home.  I get to take my baby home, I get to take him home I kept thinking while hugging her.  From one mother to another, I wish I could give her everything I have. But the truth is she has more strength than I ever will. A woman same age as me who has not stopped working through all her heartache, because she still had to take care of her other kids, a woman who is still finding the beauty in the world to forgive and embrace other's successes after all she had gone through.  Yes, this was SUPERWOMAN to me and perhaps Keawe being our biggest angel.  

  When I got home I went on her GoFundMe page and felt that I could help them a little somehow by paying it forward.   I wanted to ask that you to continue to keep sending our baby Phe healing vibes for a full recovery as he will definitely need it, but also to extend it to Keawe’s family who have touched our lives forever.  Kindness is everything good in this world.  What are we as humans if we can't help each other? If you can give anything to them it would mean so much to us. 

https://www.gofundme.com/luv4Bu

 This Thanksgiving, I am especially thankful for my baby boy, my husband, doctors and nurses that saved my boy's life, my family here and in Australia, Keawe and his family, our Lana Lane family, our friends, everyone that reached out or wrote to us or thought about us.  Thank you, thank you thank you.